As mentioned previously, I am an advocate of teaching children the correct anatomical terms for body parts. It seems to shock people that my son says "penis" instead of "wee wee" or whatever other silly thing people say. He knows the words "vagina" and "breasts," the latter being much more appropriate from the mouth of a child than "boobies" or "tits" or...whatever other silly thing people say. (I read a FB comment posted by some person the other day about how she told her under-the-age-of-five daughter something about "our coochies." SERIOUSLY?!) The reason I taught him the correct terms was because I feel that, if they are going to be referred to or discussed by children, these words sound much more respectful.
I acknowledge the fact that it isn't exactly "orthodox" to have a 3-year-old boy who knows where a vagina is located, but it's better than him calling it...whatever other silly thing people say. We had a "surrogate cousin" born back in August, so that fueled several questions about the origins of babies. Little E and I have discussed this topic, and I have been very honest about it with him, but he is still missing particulars. He knows that he came from my "belly" and that the doctor "cut" me. I've not really decided how to say "I pushed you out through my vagina" without feeling awkward (and I am not the type to be shy or uncomfortable about these things, so I'm not sure what my problem is, exactly)...
After receiving many side-long glances from people who question my parenting because they would never in a million years be able to say those words aloud in normal conversation due to their own and pre-programmed uncomfortabilities with proper language (You can tell your son he has a d***, but you can't say penis?! COME ON!!!), I have decided that EFF IT. If I am going to raise a knowledgeable and respectful young man, my son will know the correct terminology for his body parts and the body parts of others.
Also, I was reading a post on child safety and talking to your children about strangers, not keeping secrets from parents, etc. As most of us know, the majority of the perpetrators of sexual abuse are people with whom the parent(s) trust their child(ren). Because abuse may not be immediately suspected in those type of situations, other red flags parents have to look for (especially in very young children) is how they refer to their body parts. I think the example was given that if your daughter knows she has a vagina, but all of a sudden starts calling it a "cupcake" or something (sorry, that kind of makes me want to throw up) then you can ask her where she has heard it called that. Although we all hope and pray that our children are never abused in such a way (or in any way), I feel that this is actually a rather excellent reason to use proper anatomical terminology.
The purpose for this post is two-fold, I suppose. I'm sharing my preference with you, but I would also like to know: What are your thoughts on teaching these words to young children? Which words would you prefer to hear coming from not only the mouths of your own children, but young children in general?
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Monday, December 10, 2012
Grateful For: Speech
Let me preface this post by saying that, as a parent, I generally have incredibly high expectations for my son. I am told that this is not uncommon for first-time parents. I believe that it's also not uncommon among parents who were high-achieving children themselves, and that probably has a lot to do with my expectations.
It is part of my parenting goal to NOT refuse to talk about subjects that make me uncomfortable. (Granted, there isn't too much that falls under that category.) Little E has a very broad vocabulary and a wide array of knowledge, often pertaining to things that most children don't know much about. He knows the proper anatomical names for body parts on men and women, and he also knows where babies come from (which is something that will be discussed in a later post). He wrote his name for the first time when he was two-years old, and his speech is very developed--E often surprises me by using nouns that I don't realize he knows.
Vocabulary withstanding, there have been times that I've wondered if his pronunciation and speech patterns weren't very developed. Not very recently, but more when he was 2 and 3, there were times when I asked my mother if she thought his speech wasn't very good. (By this, I was referring to the ability to understand his speech...not his vocabulary.) She responded by exclaiming, "He's only two!" or "He's only three!" So. I guess I might occasionally have unrealistic expectations.... :P
For those of you who follow me on Facebook, you know that I babysat a couple of children for a few weeks this summer. OY. VEY. I was taking care of my own son, who was three at the time, another three-year-old boy, and his one-year-old sister. Now, I am not a parent who compares my child to others, mostly because I've never really been around him while he's interacting with peers (not that I would be comparing anyway...I mean, what parent does THAT?! lol). Babysitting these children actually provided me with an opportunity to do a little compare-and-contrast.
This isn't exactly relevant to the overall discussion, but often, these children were not from the best background: dad apparently likes to get drunk while watching them, and they would usually show up at my house unbathed, with dirty faces and dirty feet. Cleanliness aside, they were sweet kids and I wish that they were worked with a little bit more because they were very difficult to understand--the girl because she was only one, obviously, and the boy because...well...I don't know. His speech really wasn't much better than his little sister's, and it made me kind of sad. I always got the impression that they weren't really read to or talked to when they were at home.
Anyway, all the while I babysat these children, all I kept thinking was just how grateful I am to have the child I have and to have the chance to parent him in a way that nurtures his mind and body.
I am grateful that I have the means to provide him with a home that is clean and safe.
I am grateful that I have the means to provide him with a good education.
I am grateful that I have been imbued with a love of education, art, music, and learning, and that I am able to pass on that love to my son.
I am grateful that I have a college education and that over the course of obtaining my Bachelor's of Science in Education I learned about all of the resources that exist for parents of not only school-age children, but parents of babies and toddlers, as well. (There was a stage a few years ago where I suspected Autism, Asperger's, or something behavioral and had to seek advice and testing from Special Education providers.)
I am grateful that my son is highly intelligent. (Expect a Nature vs. Nurture blog in the future! lol)
I am grateful that my son has very understandable speech.
I am grateful that my son is able to hear me and understand (most of) what comes out of my mouth.
Now, this isn't at all meant to come off as me touting my child's capabilities. This is really just me saying that I am grateful for my situation and my child. If Mr. E. had been a late talker, I would be just as grateful and love him just as much. If your child is a late talker, I truly apologize if I sound like an arse, but I cannot apologize for being honest about something that makes me happy.
If you do have a child who is a late talker, please, do not worry! This is generally a totally normal thing! Some children do not begin to talk until they are three or four years old...some later than that. Many of these children have the vocabulary and the ability but choose to remain silent, often for varying reasons. Two of the more common reasons I have seen for delayed speech are 1) having an older sibling (or parents, unfortunately) who do all of the talking for the child, therefore eliminating the need for the child to talk, and 2) being afraid of making a mistake...many young children are already self-conscious and choose to remain silent until they know that they can speak with 100% accuracy. Obviously there are other reasons, but among the children of my friends, relatives, and acquaintances, those two have been large factors.
If, for some reason, you believe that there is something amiss and believe that your child has developmental issues that are causing his or her delayed speech DO NOT HESITATE TO SEEK HELP! You might consult a family doctor, or if your child is enrolled in school you should always be able to discuss your concerns with a classroom teacher or Special Education instructor (and will most likely end up talking to doctors, anyway). Many school districts have Early Childhood/Early Intervention programs through which they can perform testing on toddlers or pre-school-age children. (I believe they should be available free-of-charge, but I cannot say for certain.) Early Intervention programs exist for the purpose of catching developmental delays in children at an early age and (TA-DA!) providing intervention and assistance to the child and his or her family.
I am going to go ahead and quit here, but I will close by saying that around the time I meant to write this post (July, I think) I was talking to a friend who was concerned that her child wasn't talking early enough and that he was having difficulty mimicking sounds accurately. What I told her was basically what I just said above. Her child is not quite two-years of age, so I told her that it might not be anything to worry about, but if you're a hypochondriac (like she and I lol), you might just want to play it safe (for your child and your mental health) by seeking expert advice.
Blessed be you and your small ones! )O(
It is part of my parenting goal to NOT refuse to talk about subjects that make me uncomfortable. (Granted, there isn't too much that falls under that category.) Little E has a very broad vocabulary and a wide array of knowledge, often pertaining to things that most children don't know much about. He knows the proper anatomical names for body parts on men and women, and he also knows where babies come from (which is something that will be discussed in a later post). He wrote his name for the first time when he was two-years old, and his speech is very developed--E often surprises me by using nouns that I don't realize he knows.
Vocabulary withstanding, there have been times that I've wondered if his pronunciation and speech patterns weren't very developed. Not very recently, but more when he was 2 and 3, there were times when I asked my mother if she thought his speech wasn't very good. (By this, I was referring to the ability to understand his speech...not his vocabulary.) She responded by exclaiming, "He's only two!" or "He's only three!" So. I guess I might occasionally have unrealistic expectations.... :P
For those of you who follow me on Facebook, you know that I babysat a couple of children for a few weeks this summer. OY. VEY. I was taking care of my own son, who was three at the time, another three-year-old boy, and his one-year-old sister. Now, I am not a parent who compares my child to others, mostly because I've never really been around him while he's interacting with peers (not that I would be comparing anyway...I mean, what parent does THAT?! lol). Babysitting these children actually provided me with an opportunity to do a little compare-and-contrast.
This isn't exactly relevant to the overall discussion, but often, these children were not from the best background: dad apparently likes to get drunk while watching them, and they would usually show up at my house unbathed, with dirty faces and dirty feet. Cleanliness aside, they were sweet kids and I wish that they were worked with a little bit more because they were very difficult to understand--the girl because she was only one, obviously, and the boy because...well...I don't know. His speech really wasn't much better than his little sister's, and it made me kind of sad. I always got the impression that they weren't really read to or talked to when they were at home.
Anyway, all the while I babysat these children, all I kept thinking was just how grateful I am to have the child I have and to have the chance to parent him in a way that nurtures his mind and body.
I am grateful that I have the means to provide him with a home that is clean and safe.
I am grateful that I have the means to provide him with a good education.
I am grateful that I have been imbued with a love of education, art, music, and learning, and that I am able to pass on that love to my son.
I am grateful that I have a college education and that over the course of obtaining my Bachelor's of Science in Education I learned about all of the resources that exist for parents of not only school-age children, but parents of babies and toddlers, as well. (There was a stage a few years ago where I suspected Autism, Asperger's, or something behavioral and had to seek advice and testing from Special Education providers.)
I am grateful that my son is highly intelligent. (Expect a Nature vs. Nurture blog in the future! lol)
I am grateful that my son has very understandable speech.
I am grateful that my son is able to hear me and understand (most of) what comes out of my mouth.
Now, this isn't at all meant to come off as me touting my child's capabilities. This is really just me saying that I am grateful for my situation and my child. If Mr. E. had been a late talker, I would be just as grateful and love him just as much. If your child is a late talker, I truly apologize if I sound like an arse, but I cannot apologize for being honest about something that makes me happy.
If you do have a child who is a late talker, please, do not worry! This is generally a totally normal thing! Some children do not begin to talk until they are three or four years old...some later than that. Many of these children have the vocabulary and the ability but choose to remain silent, often for varying reasons. Two of the more common reasons I have seen for delayed speech are 1) having an older sibling (or parents, unfortunately) who do all of the talking for the child, therefore eliminating the need for the child to talk, and 2) being afraid of making a mistake...many young children are already self-conscious and choose to remain silent until they know that they can speak with 100% accuracy. Obviously there are other reasons, but among the children of my friends, relatives, and acquaintances, those two have been large factors.
If, for some reason, you believe that there is something amiss and believe that your child has developmental issues that are causing his or her delayed speech DO NOT HESITATE TO SEEK HELP! You might consult a family doctor, or if your child is enrolled in school you should always be able to discuss your concerns with a classroom teacher or Special Education instructor (and will most likely end up talking to doctors, anyway). Many school districts have Early Childhood/Early Intervention programs through which they can perform testing on toddlers or pre-school-age children. (I believe they should be available free-of-charge, but I cannot say for certain.) Early Intervention programs exist for the purpose of catching developmental delays in children at an early age and (TA-DA!) providing intervention and assistance to the child and his or her family.
I am going to go ahead and quit here, but I will close by saying that around the time I meant to write this post (July, I think) I was talking to a friend who was concerned that her child wasn't talking early enough and that he was having difficulty mimicking sounds accurately. What I told her was basically what I just said above. Her child is not quite two-years of age, so I told her that it might not be anything to worry about, but if you're a hypochondriac (like she and I lol), you might just want to play it safe (for your child and your mental health) by seeking expert advice.
Blessed be you and your small ones! )O(
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